One thing that I really wanted to do during my “Summer” was catch up on TV shows that, for whatever reason, I never got into. I was able to watch all of Arrested Development and How I Met Your Mother and loved both of them but I also downloaded House and Mad Men to watch and, between my busy schedule of Karaoke outings and financial accounting reviews, I haven’t had a chance to get to either of those shows. Luckily for me, though, this Summer we have been graced with some great first run programming. Now that my “Summer” is less than three weeks from ending, I thought it would be fun to take a look back at what I’ve watched.
Raise your hand if you’ve even hung a ceiling fan.
Well I have. Actually, I’ve hung a ceiling fan twice. One in Atlanta and, more recently, one in my new bedroom this past weekend and let me tell you, it is a pain in the you know what. Now granted, I am no electrician, but I am semi-handy (as long as the operation is performed the day after college graduation or was bought from IKEA) but ceiling fans are my Kryptonite.
People keep asking me what I do during the day now that my “retirement” has reached month seven (God, think about that for a second). To finally get the truth out there, I figured I would post a time-line of what I did yesterday. This is 100% truth, or at least as truthful as I remember it.
Warning – This post is pretty comprehensive with no pictures…it is basically the Crime & Punishment of Summer of Scott. The red you are seeing right now is the only colorful thing about this post…though the post is colorful (pun!)
…you break in to your rooftop pool by “picking the lock” with two friends at 3AM on the morning of the 4th but forget to bring towels and almost suffer from hypothermia once getting out of the water
…you wake up in the morning with half of your voice gone from screaming along to an 80’s cover band the night before and are depressed because it will severely limit the amount of Rock Band songs you can sing at your party in a few hours
…you introduce a horde of new friends to the sport of Competitive Eating and get the room mesmerized by watching Joey Chestnut eat 68 hot dogs in 10 minutes
…you discover that No Doubt can somehow turn a good party into a great one, despite it only being 4:30pm
…your mom becomes the life of the party by bringing corned beef to a bunch of drunk 25 year olds
…you stand in a circle on the roof of your building playing CatchPhrase just like its Spring 2006 all over again, laughter included
…you watch the fireworks over the mall from your roof and then get to experience approximately 10 other fireworks shows from around the area while up there
…you get invited to your neighbors party and while there the neighbor decides that his party pales in comparison to yours, so he moves his party to your party
…you start the day with only one Monopoly die, due to a tragic accident at last years 4th of July party, and end the night with 10 Monopoly dice, thanks to a well timed surprise dice shower
…your screen balcony door falls off (but luckily you were able to fix it the next morning)
…three beers are spilled on your brand new rug, but miraculously they did not leave any stains
…you wake up the next morning to find a full bottle of beer in the toilet tank and another full bottle in the medicine cabinet
Since finding funny You Tube’s is easier than actually writing content for this page, I would like to bring your attention to an entertaining antidote by Hall of Famer George Brett.
Don’t forget, you can check me out on Twitter at www.twitter.com/scottegold, which I update a few times a day. Recent updates include stories about my prospective new phone number and the color of my urine.