I have a love/hate relationship with IKEA. Actually, its more like a eh/despise relationship. When I was little, I remember going to IKEA with my parents (at Potomac Mills Mall…what a drive that was!) and they would put me in the ball-pit while they shopped. Obviously, the trauma has not worn off.
Nearly all of my apartment is furnished by IKEA, so I can’t 100% hate on it, but out of the 10 or so pieces that I have from the store, only three are still in perfect working order. Now, I admit, I am somewhat to blame for these pieces falling apart: the majority of my IKEA construction took place the day after I graduated from Emory and I was basically operating on no sleep. The majority of the blame, though, falls on one person, and what a tool (pun!) this guy has turned out to be.
The blame falls on the IKEA Man.
IKEA Man is Confused...Join the F'n Club!
Last night my buddy Cyrus and I went to our friend Nitya’s to help her put together a TV stand (named, ironically, BESTA). This was actually one of the simpler IKEA build’s that I have undertaken and yet the two of us still were baffled by some of IKEA Man’s instructions. There were only 10 or so panels to put together, which Cyrus and I did with great speed and ease. But the last step in the directions involved four small, white pieces that I can only describe as looking like the inside of a mini refridgerator door. Two of these pieces had a “I” on them and the other two had “II” marked on them. Now Cyrus is a second year law student at Cornell (heard of it?) and I am a proclaimed (of the self variety) genius, but we could not for the life of us figure out what to do with these things.
IKEA Man & his Lady?
The direction provided by IKEA Man was no help. It appeared as though IKEA Man wanted us to poke the mini refrigerator doors with a mini pencil. We did so. This still didn’t help us figure out where the pieces were supposed to go on the TV stand. We just sat there, baffled, alternating between staring at the directions and staring at the little white pieces. The only conclusion we could come up with was that these pieces were specifically provided to confuse the hell out of the builders and should be put in the box that everyone undoubtedly has: the random IKEA piece box.
Where IKEA Man Keeps His Extra Pieces?
Everyone that has ever purchased something from IKEA has this box. After every IKEA build, there are always 3 screws, 2 bolts and a few pins left over and we all keep them. Why do we do this? I mean seriously…what are we ever going to do with the pieces in this box? And why does IKEA always insist on including extra pieces in their boxes? LEGOs didn’t give me 13 yellow bricks in a set that was supposed to contain 10 yellow bricks and, guess what? I built the Medival Market Village without any problems.
I am making an oath right now that when I move to DC, I will not be furnishing my house with anything that requires an assembly of over 50 pieces.
Except LEGOs. I love LEGOs!
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thank you!…